2 Corinthians 5:7 “For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

It is such a simple way to stop worrying about all that we see and trust God blindly, right? If only we could STOP seeing and planning and doing and being. 

To us “planners” and “fixers,” faith is like a violent act of surrendered trust. It doesn’t come easy. It feels like an internal World War III. It is a tension between the conscious control of self and the unconscious want to control the outcomes.

Because I’m a visual artist, when I consider my inner struggles, I can envision two me’s wrestling. One me is softly saying “trust God” while at the same time holding the other me by the collar, who is attempting to run back to a compulsive need to clean, fix, plan, reorganize and structure something seemingly unruly. Comical at a glance, but it is such a real, daily, intentional decision to NOT create another to-do list for my life. As if somehow I’m the Author of it. Oh silly me. 

The inability to “control” the outcome of what I have carefully planned can set into motion one of two things:

  1. A sense of creativity to work around it
  2. A sense of crisis in an attempt to work at it

The war was never about the “outer sources” bringing challenges. That actually is a motivation to do and plan more. Rather, it’s the inner struggle to trust that indeed, God works outside of my spreadsheets, color coordination or 5 year plan. That He wired me that way but that my way is of no effect in His Presence. 

It is to remind myself:

  • That grace is sufficient even for the things out of my control.
  • That mercy resounds in the inevitable errors that come with being human.
  • That His LOVE permeates through the crevices of the unlovable areas of my life; those that I can’t seem to just fix with a scripture and a prayer overnight.
  • That He doesn’t need me to prove my worthiness by way of how well I function and plan in the midst of chaos, but that He made me worthy through Christ, despite my dysfunction.
  • That walking by faith is not a reckless, irresponsible way of living, but an intentional resignation to God’s eternal plans as opposed to forcing my own.

Today, I hope you choose with me to trust that God IS. May that truth speak louder than every voice telling us that we HAVE to be.